Yeah I know it’s a provocative title, but follow along as I share with you a true story that is surely deserving of such. In an earlier post I mentioned that Friday (July 11th) was “Cow Appreciation Day” at Chick-fil-A. Whereby you got a free meal if you showed up dressed like a cow. Earlier that day, while I was at work, my family enjoyed their free lunch, taking part in the wholesome experience. I’m sure you can only imagine how thrilled I was to find my very own cow outfit waiting for me (compliments of Michelle) as I returned home from the office. Apparently we were invited to attend Chick-fil-A again, with some friends for dinner.
So long story short, after going through the hoopla of picture taking (by the store manager) and chatting with other staffers, we finally sat down to eat our $50 free dinner. Once the kids were settled and our talking gave way to chomping, from out of nowhere, a very pregnant woman bellies up to our table. The normal split second thoughts start flying; do we know-, wait no-, uh, yeah she’s a stranger, and just when calmness should have ensued the thought process takes a spiraling dive, what?-, Oh, oh, NO!-, as the Mommy-to-be assertively lifts her shirt, lowers her waistline and pushes her nakedly protruding abdomen atop our dinner. She hollers in a strong southern draw, ”Look what I did for free chicken.”
A train wreck, or a deer caught in the headlights, is how you might describe the immediate reactions at our table. We stared on in horror, our mouths full of chicken. Oh my god, I thought. I was speechless. Quickly Melissa stepped up, carrying the conversational torch through its awkward cycle. “Yeah I wrote on my belly,” said the pregnant lady, explaining the chicken-scratched ballpoint ink marks claiming she would “give birth for chicken.”
“Wow, that’s um,” Melissa said chokingly, “that’s nice?” as the Mother-Gone-Wild wannabe retreated to her table.
“Holy $%*# did that really just happen?” someone from our party gasped quietly.
I mean, over our table, from out of nowhere, a woman raises her shirt, drops her waist and pushes herself well within our “personal” space. Wow, this is not something one could have imagined another person doing to anyone especially a stranger. It’s not as if we dislike pregnant woman. All of us are parents and have been there before, respectively. But shoving your hacked-up-art covered belly within inches of a stranger’s face, while a Chick-fil-A sandwich is tearing between their teeth, that’s simply wrong on so many levels.
Anyway, the remainder of our dinner turned into quite the giggle-fest, more so after the lady left the restaurant, as we relived that shocking moment. Our horror, turned freak-show-survivor, mixed with utter disbelief, was just the fuel we needed. Our kids were fortunate enough to be sitting on their own and were somehow oblivious to the events.
While dressing up for free food, will leave a lasting, and wholesome “Chick-fil-A” inspired memory. The “attack” of the pregnant woman will haunt us even longer. For those who are dying to know, yes I did wear my cow outfit proudly. After all Chick-fil-A has long been admired in our family. We love it!